Fear and Anticipation..

On Tuesday this week I have one of the most important interviews that I have ever had. I am so extremely nervous and scared for it.

Currently I am attempting to get my hair fixed, my typing certificate, and a book on medical terminology. But sadly, I have no money. Getting my typing certificate and fixing my hair are the things that i absolutely need to get done. And I have only one weekday to get it done. I do not get paid until this Friday. Understand my predicament?

So now I have to find someone to loan me some money, so that I can do this. I have never asked anyone to loan me money, and I feel terrible doing it. But I have to. This is the most important thing to me. It is my stepping stone into what will hopefully turn out to be a better, and happier life.

Wish me luck. I need it.


**Edit**
Okay, so I have figured out something to resolve the issue, for now. I am going to have to not pay for my Medical Terminology Course, and then put that towards the certification, the hair, and the books. Man, i fucking hate being poor.

8.1

Wow, so i submitted my pic to HotorNot.com For awhile it was like a 7 or something. Nothing special. I just now checked it, and i am an 8.1! That's a good boost for me.




**Edit 11/23/07**
Now it is back down to a 7.4 D:

"...If I am going to help the world, I want to do it with my cookies.."

I just finished watching "Stranger than Fiction." Awesome movie. Made me happy that it was made. Ana was an awesome character, (as well as my loving of Maggie Gyllenhall), who had some of the best quotes and one-liners.

I love watching these kind of movies. It makes me think deep. I like it when i think deep, because it doesn't happen very much, and never on cue. Movies make me so happy.

"Where is my Mind/ Where is my mind/ Way out in the water/ See it swimmin'"

I just spent a week hanging out with Sir Douglass Eff. He is a good person. I feel like we get along very well. We always have something to talk about, and we did not start hating each other at the end of the period. I'm sure we both were quite tired of each other, but I felt no malice toward him.

Then I go and hang out with Ammon. Upon driving to the Bluff of Red, his tire lost its treading, making the car lose its direction, and nearly threw us off the road, so we had to change it. On the freeway. Fun stuff. "I had Optimus Prime trying to kill me every 30 seconds.." Said Ammon. Then we went and hung out with some of his friends. Pot heads that I do not know make me very uncomfortable. They are so hard to read. Especially when i am the only one not smoking, you tend to get pointed out a lot.

So I am going to be starting this online course for Medical Terminology on the 14th. That's exciting for me. Hopefuly i can get a job in a hospital after that.. I pretty much am done with everything else, First Aid and CPR Certified, type like 60wpm, Customer Service experience.. Here's me crossing my fingers.

Last night I was very sad. I drank. I texted a lot of people, and for that I am sorry to you all, if you read this. After hanging out with Doug and his family, it kinda depressed me. Years ago, Doug used to be pretty much my best friend, we were kinda on par in courses throughout high school, him usually being of course ahead, and now he has graduated from DeVry, and has an occupation set. Where I have done nothing with the past 3 years, except put about 6 more houses onto my list. I don't want to be where I am in my life anymore.

For the first time in my life, I do not like who I am. I have always been very much, no regrets, live life and always be proud of what you do, but now.. I am not proud of anything anymore.

-Jacob